


Kiss On My (Christmas) List

by ResearchBlackwingsAndDenial



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Destiel Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Multiple, canon!verse, destiel christmas, jealous!Dean, married-couple bickering, s12 divergence, sassy!Cas, shifting pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:20:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9086557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ResearchBlackwingsAndDenial/pseuds/ResearchBlackwingsAndDenial
Summary: Dean is jealous, then there's an intense fight, then denial, then Christmas decorating, a family dinner and presents and then there's a sappy happy ending.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on [this](http://research-blackwings-denial.tumblr.com/private/154192875931/tumblr_og89ymdZqC1unros0) but with a Christmas twist.
> 
> Title is just because I love Hall & Oates, no lists involved, sorry!
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> ~~I'll let you know when the POV shifts~~  
> 

 

**1 week until Christmas**

_~~(Cas)~~ _

 

“Well I can’t say it is exactly fashionable, but I will say you look great, Castiel,” the stranger says shyly, about the same trenchcoat Dean says makes him look like a “third tier agent”. The guy blushes a little as he says it and Cas absently thinks that he’s _cute_.

The guy (Connor, if you’ll believe him) is blaringly obvious with his flirtation methods, no one ever compliments Cas’ coat and he has mentioned mistletoe about four times already. He’s also quite beautiful, though, Cas can’t deny that.

“Thank you” Cas answers quietly. His gaze is drawn to Connor’s hand, that is now lightly fingering his tie.

They started talking when Cas left his table with the Winchesters and came to fetch another beer at the bar. The guy mentioned that he liked the beer Cas was getting, Cas answered sincerely that he had never tried it (Dean always finished it for him), then the guy laughed at this and introduced himself. Connor made Cas try the beer and when Cas deemed it “bearable” he laughed some more.

“I mean but don’t rely on my word too much,” Connor says now. Cas tilts his head to the side without noticing it. Connor’s smile widens. “I do think you’d look great on anything” his eyes shine a little brighter, or maybe is just the Christmas lights hanging above them.

“I’m afraid I can’t quite confirm that,“ Cas answers honestly, “I’ve only tried on about three outfits since I’ve been here” Connor laughs again.

Cas likes having someone laughing amicably at what he says. It’s why he stayed in a conversation with this stranger in the first place. He didn’t realize he actually stayed for twenty minutes.

Just as Connor pulls him a little closer by his tie, the angel hears an energetic “Cas let’s go!” in a very familiar voice.

Cas turns to see Dean standing a few steps away from them, Sam behind him looking a little alarmed.The angel tilts his head in confusion at Dean’s frown, but Dean merely raises his eyebrows expectantly.

“Well?” Dean asks. Cas blinks. “You came with us, Cas” Dean elaborates, not that it explains his attitude at the moment.

“Yes?” Cas confirms, confused, just as Sam mutters something to his brother. Dean waves him off and Sam offers Cas an apologetic look.

“…And we’re leaving, so let’s go” Dean says slowly, his hands moving as if he were talking to a child. It angers Castiel, every time Dean treats him like a child.

“I can find my way back, Dean” Cas retorts. He hears himself and registers the harsh tone, but he can feel anger coiling inside him so he doesn’t correct it.

“I could give you a ri-” Connor tries to chime in, but Dean cuts him off abruptly.

“Shut up” Dean spits, his finger pointing at Connor, Sam rolls his eyes and Cas frowns at Dean. “You’re not giving him anything” The hunter adds. Cas raises his eyebrows at that.

“ _Dean_ ” Cas and Sam warn at the same time. Green eyes turn a defiant look only at the angel, though, so Cas elaborates “In case it isn’t obvious to you, _you’re being rude_ ” Cas knows Dean also hates it when people treat him like a child.

“Like I care” Dean scoffs, but Cas can see it in his eyes that he’s even more pissed now. “C'mon we need to go over the case” Dean directs, gesturing with his head for Cas to follow him.

Cas resists the urge to roll his eyes because Dean Winchester never goes over _anything_ , he just dives in head first, and right now, he’s clearly pestering Cas on purpose. Even Sam is raising his eyebrows at Dean.

“Fine, then. I’ll say goodbye, you can wait for me at the car” Cas says, aiming it at both brothers, wanting to offer Connor an apology for the scene.

“Cas what are you-…?” Dean starts and Sam is already dragging him away, but as Cas turns back to Connor, Dean doubles the intensity of his tone. “Cas! Let’s go! This is no time to be flirting!”

Oh, _that_ does it.

“Ex _cuse me?_ “ Cas asks, turning back to Dean. He’s sure there’s fire in his eyes because Dean just stares at him looking like he made an awful miscalculation and Sam lets go of Dean as if he didn’t want to be anywhere near him when Cas kicked his ass. So okay, maybe Cas was a little loud but he’s _had it_ with Dean’s attitude.

Cas waits for a reaction, but Dean just gapes at him. The angel hears Connor take a few steps back, and it just contributes to his anger, he never meant to scare the guy who had been nothing but nice to him, this is Dean’s _fault_ and he’s about to hear all about it from Cas himself.

“So when you feel like flirting with _anyone_ at _any_ stage on _any_ case Sam and I just have to ‘deal with it’, but when I so much as talk to a friendly stranger at a bar suddenly it’s a waste of time?“ Cas demands.

The angel reconsiders his phrasing when he hears Connor retreat even further away, but even so, air quotes and all it seems his message got across because Dean finally reacts.

“Cas-” Dean tries, but Cas wasn’t nearly done.

“Am I a burden to you Dean? Is that it?“ Cas begins, feeling angry for a great deal of things that don’t have anything to do with the fact that Dean interrupted his conversation with ‘a friendly stranger’.

“C'mon Cas, you-”

“Are you trying to say I’m a liability?” Cas blurts out, his voice raising “Or just that your love life is more important than mine?” Dean rolls his eyes at this.

“Since when do you even have a love life?” Dean counters, his voice raising to meet Cas’ tone. Cas can barely believe what he’s hearing and, judging by Sam’s wide eyes, they’re on the same page.

“Oh, that is just-” Cas starts, but reconsiders “You know what? That is just what I should expect from you Dean because that’s exactly how emotionally constipated you are.”

Dean’s eyes go wide and his eyebrows shoot up like he’s having a hard time understanding why Cas would bring _that_ up here and now.

“You are _so_ self-centered when it’s not a matter of life or death, Dean.“ Cas continues, he doesn’t feel like he can stop, and it’s not like he wants to. 

“You would give your life for us. Yet you never ask if your brother is okay with the motel you chose for this week, if he’d like to listen to his own music in the car, or if he wants the last pizza slice.” Cas goes on, a deep frown takes over Dean’s features.

“I bet you don’t even know when was the last time he had a real conversation with another human being that wasn’t you.” Cas challenges, earning a scowl from Dean.

“What does that have to do with anyth-?” Dean barks but he gets cut off again.

“You say I’ve been your best friend for more than six years, yet you’ll have me believe today is the first time you’re even considering the fact that I _might_ have a love life! That’s how scared you are of showing you care!” Cas fumes.

“What the hell, Cas? I haven’t even-” Dean hisses, but Cas won’t let him get a word in.

“I’ll tell you what Dean,“ Cas quips “I’ll do as you say. That way you’re satisfied, we can all get on with our lives and you can _finally_ get out of my ass!” Cas finishes, and promptly walks away towards the door.

“ _What?!_ ” Dean blurts behind him, apparently too shocked for a few seconds to get a hold of his reaction. “Castiel!” Dean calls, but Cas has no interest in staying in that conversation. Dean calls his name one last time before the door closes behind Cas and he’s finally alone in the parking lot.

The chilling air and the light snow do nothing to stop Castiel from gritting his teeth in frustration. He feels like he still has a few loud words inside of him, but he does his best to take deep breaths.

He doesn’t bother worrying about not apologizing to Connor, the guy probably left around the time Cas started talking of weekly motels. Furthermore, that is not why Castiel is so angry. And the cause of his anger will have to wait to be discovered because Dean quickly caught up with him.

“Cas!” Dean yells as he catches up. Castiel pointedly ignores him and turns, intent on walking to the car.

Dean runs after Cas until they get to the car and when he’s close enough he grabs Cas’ arm and forces the angel to face him.

“Do not turn your back on me again!” Dean says. Castiel frowns.

“ _Again_??” Cas demands, “What is that supposed to mean? Am I not the one who always comes when you need me?” Dean’s grip on his arm tightens.

“You always come when I call,” Dean clarifies, “there’s a _difference_ ” There is something in Dean’s tone that suggests this as a peace offering, but Cas is too worked up to pay it any mind.

“Oh, spare me” Cas spits, yanking his arm. Dean lets go of him harshly, almost pushing the angel.

“You wanna go after him?” Dean challenges, his green eyes trained with intensity on Cas’ blue ones “Be.My.Guest! But that guy was bad news, Cas!”

“Oh wow!“ Cas is straight up yelling now and he doesn’t even care, ” _Thank you_ , Dean! How could I have ever found that out all by my dumb self?!”

“I was trying to protect you!” Dean yells back.

“Until thirty seconds ago, you didn’t even know I had a sex life!!” Castiel yells to Dean’s face. Dean takes a step back.

“A _sex_ life?! Now is a sex life??!!”Dean demands, disbelieving.

“Why do you even care??!!“ Cas yells, almost breathless with rage, “Why does it matter if I want to kiss the guy or suck his dick?!! Or take him out on a- mmph”

Cas’ words get muffled and it takes him a second to realize it’s because Dean’s lips are pressed against his own.

The hunter’s lips move insistently against Cas’ mouth on a desperate kiss that leaves the angel dizzy and having to grab the lapels on Dean’s jacket to steady himself. Dean’s hands come up to cradle Cas’ face and Cas closes his eyes breathing out a sigh of relief. Cas tries to reciprocate, but Dean draws back too soon, leaning their foreheads together. 

“Shut up” Dean pants, “Stop talking, please” his words are breathless whispers and Cas has trouble breathing, or believing this is actually happening.

Cas’ eyes go wide as plates, but Dean keeps his closed. The freckles splattered across his nose and his cheekbones trace a hundred constellations that lead to his plump mouth, lips slightly open as the hunter struggles to catch his breath.

Dean _kissed_ him. Stubborn, stupid, beautiful, wonderful Dean Winchester kissed _him_. Cas never thought this would happen. Sure he dreamt it would, but to have it come true is overwhelming.

Sam calls Dean’s name eventually and Dean steps back from the angel, finally opening his eyes but not meeting Cas’ gaze. Even then, Cas has no other reaction than to just let go of Dean’s jacket and stare at him as he walks away.

He can’t believe this happened.

 

*****

 

_~~(Dean)~~ _

“Stop talking, please” Dean finishes, he’s sure his voice cracked a little at the end. He’s breathless.

Cas doesn’t answer. He hasn’t done much of anything since Dean pulled back from their kiss. Their first kiss.

 _Fuck_ , he fucked up. This isn’t how Dean planned to do this, hell, he never even planned to do it at all! But _that idiot_ had been eyeing Cas with a predatory look on his face and then Cas was laughing with him and Dean couldn’t let that slide, now could he? And then Cas had talked about kissing him and-

“Dean?”

Dean hears his brother and immediately jerks away from Cas, only opening his eyes to turn to Sam.

“I’m sorry, man,” Sam says, “they kicked me ou-” Dean cuts him off, feeling his heart hammering against his chest at too fast a rate.

“You wanna go home?” Dean asks too fast, he’s still breathless so he tries clearing his throat, “Yeah, let’s go” he finishes without waiting for an answer, it still doesn’t sound right but it’ll have to do. He quickly walks around the car nodding his head like an idiot and finally sits on the driver’s seat.

Sam gets in the seat next to him looking a little put off by Dean’s behavior, but when isn’t he? Dean doesn’t care about it right now.

He waits for Cas to get in. And waits, and waits some more. He can’t bring himself to turn to check if Cas is still standing out there, so instead he turns to Sam.

“Well? Are we going?” He urges. Sam seems confused, but soon enough he turns to where Dean assumes Cas is.

“Cas?” Sam calls, “You coming, buddy?”

 _Fuck_ , if Cas doesn’t get in Dean is going to be _over_. He’s not forgiving himself if he knows he screwed things up with Cas just because he was jealous, of all things. He turns to look up front and white-knuckles the steering wheel.

Eventually, the car dips with Cas’ weight and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his heart still beating too damn fast.

With the angel safely inside the car, Dean loosens his grip on the steering wheel and drives them numbly to their motel. None of them talk during the ride and as soon as they get there Dean scutters off to the shower.

 

****

 

Not surprisingly, is easy for Dean to avoid the angel over the next few days. He stumbles and leaves the bunker’s kitchen when he hears footsteps approaching. He washes Baby about ten times a day. He and Sam talk and he apologizes and Sam waves him off, says it’s ok, but as soon as he mentions Cas, Dean stops listening.

He never uses the bathroom between his room and Cas’, instead, he goes all the way across the bunker to the showers room. He downright ignores the angel when he tries to talk to the hunter and doesn’t even know if Cas minds or not. He doesn’t dare look in the angel’s eyes.

 

****

 

**2 days until Christmas**

_~~(Cas)~~ _

 

Cas is reading inside his room in the bunker when there’s a shy knock on his door. The angel leaves his book aside and slides off the bed to go answer the door. A pair of green eyes looks down at his bare feet when he opens it.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says, it’s the first sentence he directs at the angel in five days. “Sammy wants to know if you’ll help us with Christmas decorations”

“I thought we didn’t do Christmas” Cas mutters, half to himself, tilting his head.

“Yeah well,” Dean scratches his neck, “Sammy thought, um- well _I_ thought it would be good, maybe mom could swing by. It could help her feel better about all this…I don’t know” he won’t look up at Cas, but the angel still smiles at what he said.

“I think that’s a good idea, Dean, I’m sure she’ll love to spend the Holidays with you” Cas tries to reassure him, Dean looks up at that, the intensity in those green eyes stealing Cas’ breath.

“You think?” The hunter asks.

“Yes,” Cas simply answers, a small smile tugging at the sides of his mouth.

“I hope so, maybe Jody could bring the girls…” Dean says, looking down again. Cas can tell he’s trying, but he’s not ready to talk with the angel yet. “Look, Cas-”

“Dean,” Cas cuts him off and Dean deflates almost instantly “I’ll help, I’ll be there in a minute” Cas offers him a chance to avoid the talk. Dean takes it.

“Okay,” Dean says.

 

****

 

_~~(Sam)~~ _

Sam left Dean and the Christmas tree to go pick up more decorations from his room, but when he comes back he hears voices as he approaches the war room. He hears his brother’s annoying tone the loudest, it’s his I’m-always-right tone.

“It’s a bow, Cas!! It’s _this_ bow!! That’s why it’s bigger than the others! It should be on top of the tree!” Dean says as Sam rounds the corner to find him waving a bow in front of Cas’ face.

“It should be an angel!” Cas replies frustrated, the small figure of a blue angel clutched tightly in his hand. Sam chokes back a chuckle.

“You just want to put up an angel because _you’re_ an angel!” Dean retorts, Sam rolls his eyes dramatically.

Most people with brothers who are in love put up first with UST and _then_ they put up with married-couple bickering. How did Sam get so unlucky that he has to put up with _both_ at the same time?

“That’s not true! You’re being selfish!”

“I’m being selfish? You’re being narcissistic!”

“Oh yeah? Well, you’re a-”

“ _Children!_ ” Sam’s voice booms through the war room. He smirks at the way Dean and Cas jump in surprise and turn to look at him at the same time. “We’re putting a star on top of the tree, so you can both shut up now” Sam informs them, striding towards the tree and easily reaching out to place the star he had in his hand.

Cas smirks at Dean and Dean shoves the angel lightly, in turn, Sam chuckles shaking his head and they resume decorating the war room.

Two hours later tinsel decorates the stairs and every door frame. The tree stands proudly beneath the stairs with a thousand white lights and spheres on a color scheme that’s a tad too wide but somehow looks good. There’s glitter friggin’ _everywhere_ because Dean and Cas started throwing bows at each other in the middle of their bickering and now Sam will have to clean it and Dean is being _difficult_.

“No tree has plushies on it, Sam!” Dean insists. Sam rolls his eyes for the thousandth time.

“No tree has purple and blue spheres either, but you were okay with putting _those_ up!” Sam says.

“It’s stupid” Dean protests, sullenly looking down at the small decoration in his hand and grumbling something about it being the logical choice to get spheres in every color.

“What’s stupid?” A deep voice asks behind them. Sam turns.

Cas stands there and holds out to Sam a mug with something steamy. Sam takes it and smells it. It smells like Christmas. A smile tugs at his mouth, it’s hot cocoa.

“Wow, thanks, Cas,” Sam says putting an arm around his best friend. Dean turns with a frown. “Cas brought us hot cocoa” he explains to his big brother, Dean smiles despite himself.

“Dean doesn’t want to hang his decoration” Sam turns to tell Cas. Cas frowns at Dean as he hands him a mug.

“Oh, buddy, I don’t really like-” Dean starts, but Cas cuts him off.

“It’s not,” Cas says “it’s coffee” Dean doesn’t look convinced “no sugar” Cas adds, nudging the cup towards Dean. Dean looks at the angel with love in his eyes (yes, there’s no other word for it) and finally takes the mug.

“Thanks, man” Dean smiles. Sam will never get tired of rolling his eyes.

“Why won’t you hang it, Dean?” Cas asks, disapprovingly. Dean scoffs.

“Why would I?” he asks.

“It’s perfect” the angel replies, “I think it’s a nice gesture” Cas adds, smiling at Sam as he goes hang the small bee plushie right below the tree’s star. Sam smiles back and tilts his cup in Cas’ direction.

Sam got each of them a small plushie with a cord on top to hang from the tree so it would look _theirs_. Cas’ is a bee (because he loves bees), his is a dog (because he loves dogs) and Dean’s is a beer (because it might as well be). Sam’s is already up, Cas just put his by its side and Dean hangs his in between the first two after grumbling a begrudged “Fine”. It’s the last detail.

They stand admiring their hard work, sipping hot beverages and Sam smiles widely. Later when he tells his mom about it on the phone he won’t forget to mention the bunker finally feels like home.

 

****

 

**The day before Christmas**

 

“So, what are you getting Cas for Christmas?” Sam asks over his breakfast coffee. Dean yawns dramatically.

“A stupid guinea pig” he grumbles sullenly. Sam frowns and smiles at the same time when he hears that.

“Are you serious?” he asks his big brother.

“Yeah,” Dean nods “I’m picking it up in like-” he glances at his phone’s screen “half an hour.” he finishes, yawning again.

“So _that’s_ why you’re up so early!” Sam says, making a face as Dean discards his mug and starts drinking coffee straight from the pot because he’s disgusting like that.

“Yeah, man,” Dean says, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “What are you getting him?” he asks.

“I found a very old book he might like and I bought it for him,” Sam says, not getting into details because Dean would stop listening. “What did you get me?” Sam asks, teasing his brother.

“A skin mag” Dean answers easily. Sam makes a face.

“ _Dean_ ” he chides. Dean chuckles.

“I’m kidding. It’s a subscription to a feet porn website.” Dean says. Sam rolls his eyes.

“Cool. I got you an inflatable doll in case you were wondering.” Sam teases back, “You can open it in front of mom.” he adds with a smirk. Dean blushes.

“ _Dude_!” Dean says, his eyes wide “That was _my_ gift to you!!” he adds, and Sam laughs loudly as Cas enters the kitchen, already smiling back at the twin smiles on the brother’s faces.

“Hey, Cas! What did you get Claire??” Dean asks him.

“A Radiohead record” Cas answers.

“Dammit. Wich one?”

“I’m not telling you, get her something else.”

“Wha- ” Dean’s mouth hangs open and he looks to Sam for help. Sam ignores him. Their bickering has morphed into straight up flirting and Sam wants no part in it.

“What are you getting Alex?” Cas asks them and the bickering starts again. Sam chimes in every now and then and they go on until they all know what they’re getting for the rest of their small family. Dean is almost late to pick up Cas’ guinea pig. 

 

****

 

Sam stopped wishing for Christmas things a _long_  time ago, but even so, this time around he got every single thing he could have wished for.

Sam and Cas cooked, Mary arrived earlier and helped them set the table. The girls got there and Sam felt warm watching the way Cas hugged Claire close to his chest. Conveniently, Dean came back when all that was left to do was eat and dinner was actually great.

When it was time to open the presents Dean asked to go first. He went out in the garage to get them from Baby and they all sat in couches that Mary and Jody dragged from abandoned rooms to the war room. 

Claire pretended to be annoyed as she snuggled under Cas’ arm, Sam laid his head on Mary’s shoulder like Alex did with Jody and in came Dean with a Saint Bernard puppy in his hands. Sam sat up so fast he got dizzy.

“I thought you were getting a guinea pig?” he blurted out. Cas sat up.

“A guinea pig??” he asked. Dean rolled his eyes and handed Cas a small yellow cage with a smaller fluffy ball inside, Cas eye’s lit up like the tree behind him.

“This one’s yours,” Dean told Cas “The big ass cage I bought it it’s in the car but you’ll have to put it together yourself because I don’t-” Dean was interrupted by an armful of angel hugging him tight.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas mumbled into his shoulder. Dean smiled and hugged back. 

Between the bags and the puppy in Dean’s hands and the cage in Cas’, Sam had no idea how they managed to hug so tight but hey, they managed to deny their feelings for the other for so long, surely they could do anything. The puppy barked and Dean drew back, blushing.

“And _this_ pain in the ass is yours, Bigfoot,” Dean told Sam, holding out the puppy just inside his reach. Sam felt his eyes go wide.

“Are you serious?” he asked for the second time that day. Dean smiled.

“Yeah, Sammy. From Mom, Cas and I.” Dean said. “it was my idea, though,” Dean added with a playful smirk as he looked at Mary and Cas and their smiling faces. Sam felt his heart swell for his big brother. 

“ _Dean_ ” he wanted to thank him _so much,_ but Dean, of course, wouldn’t have it.

“Yeah, yeah, shut up I got more gifts” he shoved the puppy in Sam’s face and Sam held on to it tightly as it licked his face eagerly. Sam also got the coolest books from Jody and great plaid shirts from the girls.

Cas got his guinea pig, the books Sam and Mary got him, and bee themed PJs from the girls so he wouldn't have to use Dean's Metallica shirts anymore, not that he ever complained.

Claire got her Radiohead record along with lots of clothes and a gift card for a tattoo (Jody glared at the brothers, but Claire was _stoked_ ). 

Alex got one too. Alex also got new raincoats and beanies from Cas (”because she secretly hates the hand-me-downs her old family gave her, Claire told me”)  and just when she thought they wouldn’t mention her new boyfriend, Mary gave her a box of condoms. Dean laughed for what felt like an hour and Jody almost faints. Mary’s real present was a pair of new boots after that. 

Jody got chick flicks from Dean, a cookbook, a framed photo and two sweaters from the girls, a new gun from Mary and a spa day from Sam and Cas (She was pretty stoked too). 

Mary got a spa day too from Cas, many framed photos from their sons and what she said were “awesome” outfits from the girls.

Dean went last, and he might not have cried but he sure as hell got misty eyed and gave his little brother the longest hug Sam had gotten in months. Sam and Cas got him a vinyl record player, vintage, like the one he had at home when he was four (Mary helped confirm), Jody and the girls gave him a million records and Mary gave him his favorite Led Zeppelin record, which also happened to be _her_ favorite. She used to play him music on rainy afternoons so he wouldn’t get bored inside. 

It was Dean’s turn to cuddle with their mom after that, he pretended to be annoyed too and Claire laughed at him. Sam was happy to go play with his new puppy and the tinsel she ripped off the nearest door frame. 

Dean said she was a girl because Mary said the bunker needed a feminine touch. Sam thought it also needed more light so he named her Lux.Cas’ guinea pig was also a girl and he named her Uiri, Dean blushed again when he heard.

They talked, and laughed, made plans to make this a tradition, joked about everything and nothing until one by one they all fell asleep. The girls cuddled with Jody, and Sam fell asleep with a puppy in his lap, his head on Mary’s shoulder and a smile on his face as he watched Cas finally go sit down beside his brother. 

 

****

 

**Christmas Morning**

~~_(Dean)_ ~~

 

Dean wakes up to something nibbling on his pinky finger. He opens an eye and sees Cas’ guinea pig, sees Uiri (damn it, he should stop blushing at that) insistently biting his fingers and chuckles. There’s an answering chuckle across the room.

Dean sits up to find out at the same time that: a) Cas is asleep on his shoulder and Dean had his head resting on top of the angel’s fluffy hair, b)Jody is watching them as she goes about picking up discarded wrapping paper and c) Uiri just went back to sleep. The room is empty otherwise. Dean frowns.

“We went out to watch the sun come up” Jody whispers, understanding his expression and smiling at him “Come up when you’re ready” she adds as she leaves the room. Dean nods after her.

Cas’ hair smells like pine and now so does Dean’s cheek. The hunter looks down and sees the backs of their hands touching. His next breath marks the moment when an important decision was made. 

Cas wakes up and sits up, he rarely sleeps these days and it generally seems he only does so when he’s too sad to do anything else but yesterday…? Dean wonders as Cas blinks himself further awake with a sleepy smile on his face, if maybe he just sleeps when he wants to.

“Dean?” Cas rasps out, it almost makes Dean shiver. 

“Mornin’, sunshine” Dean greets, he can’t help himself “D’you want coffee? Everyone’s upstairs watching the sun come up” Cas yawns.

“Coffee sounds nice,” Cas says, he looks around the room and picks a sleeping Uiri from Dean’s lap “Let me go put her in my room” Cas adds smiling and standing up.  Dean stands up too.

“Yeah, sure.” he says “Meet you back at the kitchen?” That gives Cas pause, he turns and very pointedly smiles sweetly at Dean, like it is important to do so and then he nods and then he’s gone.

Dean has a hard time deciding if the thumping he hears the loudest comes from his head or his heart as he walks towards the kitchen.

 

****

 

~~_(Cas)_ ~~

 

It’s strange in Cas’ opinion. He knows Dean is ready to talk to him now and instead of rushing towards the man he loves Cas finds himself standing frozen in the kitchen’s door thinking of how strange it all is. That Dean could inspire so much in him, that he feels his grace reach for Dean but also his body, that he feels as nervous as the day he lead his army into _that_  battle, right before he met Dean.

It’s strange that he can be so childish around Dean, but also he can tell him tales about civilizations lost in time, and it all works between them. It’s strange, yes, but it’s the greatest thing he’s ever known.

“Hey!” Dean says softly when he spots him standing there. He gestures with his head for Cas to get closer. “C’mere” he says. Cas doesn’t need to be told twice.

He’s almost there when Dean reaches his arm for him. Cas stops, eyes Dean’s hand stretched like that towards him, inviting, his heart thumps. He looks up at Dean and the hunter holds his gaze, no hesitation. He looks down again and Dean speaks up again.

“Gimme your hand” he grumbles, wriggles his fingers like he’s tired of waiting. Truth be told Cas is a little tired of waiting too. He takes Dean’s hand for the first time and boldly laces their fingers together. He’s pleased when Dean’s answer is an approving squeeze of his hand.

They stand and stare at their joined hands for a minute before Dean extends his other hand, asks for Cas’ other too like one is not enough. Nothing could be enough, Cas feels. He surrenders his other hand willingly.

“ ’M sorry” Dean mumbles. Cas looks up to find their noses almost bumping. “I shouldn’t have yelled like that” dean goes on “and then these days I shouldn’t have-” Cas squeezes their hands to stop him, Dean’s eyes never leave his.

“I’m sorry too.” Cas tells him, “I said things I shouldn’t have and I-”

“Hey,” Dean interrupts him “You should always tell me the truth,” he says. Cas half smiles. 

“Yes, well, that wasn’t the way,” Cas says, Dean chuckles and then unexpectedly presses a kiss to Cas’ cheek. He draws back with eyes wide like he can’t believe he just did that and Cas can’t help his smile.

Dean watches Cas’ smile and bites his lip, takes a deep breath and asks “May I…?” Before Cas chuckles and draws him close with a loving “you idiot” and presses their mouths together.

Dean kisses Cas with such sweetness, his grace sings with the love Dean’s soul bears for him. Their mouths move softly against one another and their hands wander until Dean settles his fingers tangled in Cas’ hair and Cas sets his hands on the small of Dean’s back.

Their tongues explore, their breaths hitch, their noses rub together and they smile into their kiss. Truly, in Cas’ opinion, there could be nothing better.

When they finally part, Dean draws his hands down to Cas’ back and places his head on Cas’ shoulder, hugging him close. Cas gently scratches the skin behind Dean’s neck and Dean pushes into it, pressing a kiss to Cas’ neck. Cas shivers.

“I need you,” Dean whispers against his skin. Cas takes a deep breath and his nose fills with the heady scent of coffee, and leftover cinnamon in the kitchen, and Christmas, and _Dean_.

"I love you," Cas tells him, and as he murmurs against his temple Cas feels like he got his wings back like he's _free_. Even as Dean hugs him closer still, he sets the angel free. Cas kisses Dean's temple, eliciting a contented sigh.

“Promise me you won’t flirt with strangers anymore” Dean mumbles into Cas’ neck. Cas laughs softly.

“I won’t if you won’t” Cas answers and feels Dean grinning against his neck.

“You got yourself a deal, angel.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry ~~late, so late, wow why even bother~~ Christmas you guys!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ *:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧ 
> 
> I just confirmed writing is my coping mechanism. I wasn't going to post this at all, but then I heard about Carrie and I tried fixing my heart with a fluffy ending. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope you got to spend happy holidays!! 
> 
> Also, in case you're wondering, Uiri is Latin for sunshine ♡
> 
> If you read all of this mess, you should know I love you.
> 
> Whoever you are, I'm honored that you would take some of your precious time to read my work and I would love to hear from you. ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) You can find me [here](http://research-blackwings-denial.tumblr.com/) and in the comments section.


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